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One-Liners: Collected Vampire Humour

Submitted by: Morgana

Q. Why don't vampires like to play poker?
A. Because there's too much at stake!

Q. How do you know when a vampire has a cold?
A. When he doesn't stop coffin.

Submitted by: Fangy

Q. How can you tell when you're in bed with Count Dracula?
A. He has a big D on his pajamas

Q. Why couldn't Dracula's wife get to sleep?
A. Because of his coffin

Q. What has webbed feet, feathers, fangs and goes quack-quack?
A. Count Duckula

Q. What is as sharp as a vampires fang?
A. His other fang.

Q: What does a vampire fear most?
A: Tooth decay

Q: Where did the vampire open his savings account?
A: At a blood bank

Q: What is Transylvania?
A: Dracula's terror-tory

Q: What kind of boat pulls Dracula when he water skis?
A: A blood vessel

Q: How do vampires get around on Halloween night?
A: By blood vessels.

Q: Why don't vampires like to play poker?
A: Because there's too much at stake!

Q: What do you get when you cross Dracula with a snowman?
A: Frostbite.